Moping around

I went back to work today and lasted all of two hours before returning home to rest and recuperate.  I couldn’t talk very long without hacking and coughing.  Fearing that I would expose others to the nasties I’m fighting, I decided to cut my losses and went for a haircut and short massage (the legit kind) before heading home.  The massage felt really good.  I deserved it after being cooped up in airplanes for over 20 hours and falling ill.  I went home and crashed for about four hours and have since done pretty much nothing but check and respond to e-mail.  I feel pathetic.  I don’t know why I always feel like I need to be doing something.  I guess it’s in my nature to be busy.  I told my wife that I was happy to head to Paraguay, because it appears to be one of the most laid-back places on earth.  Somehow I know I’ll figure out a way to be too busy, even in Paraguay.  Will I get busy and volunteer for too much?  Oh, probably.  I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about doing nothing, but I do.  Is nothing really nothing?  Not really.  Nothing means doing what isn’t really a priority in your life.  I enjoy writing e-mail, but e-mail usually falls somewhere between saving the world and playing video games.  I was home with my son for awhile today, but I didn’t really feel like spending time with him because I don’t want to get him sick.  He also seemed extra whiny and needy today.  Perhaps it’s because he just started pre-school and is adjusting to his new schedule.  My wife says that he’s no worse than normal, so perhaps it’s the illness heightening my sensitivity.  I usually have these severe colds once a year.  I’ll put up with this one and look forward to when I can be productive again.  Probably next week.  I should enjoy the time off, I suppose, but I’m not.  I’d rather be healthy and working, not moping around.

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