I’ll admit, tonight’s topic is completely shallow and frivilous. Nevertheless, I have to share with you the saga of my poor neckties. I’m sure that some other poor chap reading this blog entry is going to nod his head while reading this and understand my predicament perfectly. We can commisserate.
I have a decent collection of neckties that I wear to work. I try to mix them up and match them with my business suits. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. I really like some of them, and some cost quite a bit of money. (Well, less than $50 anyway. OK, I admit it–I can’t bring myself to spend more for a necktie than for a dress shirt.) Because they’re mostly delicate silk, some of them have started to fall apart. Why? I don’t wash them, although I do dry clean them occasionally. I keep them safe and sound when I’m not wearing them. No, it’s not that. It’s my office. My workplace is shredding my ties. I often stand behind a counter, helping people. I lean forward to talk to them like Larry King, unintentionally pressing my tie against the counter. It happens that the counter has a protruding edge sealed with some sticky caulking. So what happens when my necktie bumps up against the counter? The silk threads start to come loose, snagged by the counter and caulking. This has happened to at least four of my ties. One tie is virtually destroyed, and I’ll have to throw it away. All four look tattered when you look at them closely. I try to remember not to press too hard against the counter, but I often forget.
This is the male version of the ol’ "run in my nylons" conundrum. Most of my ties are starting to unravel. Unlike nylons, I can’t just haphazardly throw away a pricey silk necktie. What’s a guy to do?
P.S. I forgot to post the link to the history behind "All Your Base are Belong to Us," which I wrote about on August 7. In case you’re interested, here’s the story behind it: http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/story.shtml. Strange, but true.