Articles by mgedwards

Adjusting to Life in Korea

Tonight I put together a presentation I will deliver on Friday to about 60 new American English teachers who just arrived in Korea.  The presentation title is "Adjusting to Life in Korea."  I have to give a 30-45 talk on Korean culture and offer suggestions on how to assimilate into Korean culture.  Here is a summary of what I plan to discuss on Friday.  I’ll mention this site to them too, so they can visit World Adventurers to review what I discussed.  Most have never been to Korea, and many have never visited or lived in Asia.  If you have any suggestions for improving this presentation, please post a comment. 
 
My presentation includes many generalizations about both American and Korean culture, and it assumes that American culture is largely influenced by Western philosophy, particularly liberalism and rationalism, and that Korean culture is influenced by Eastern philosophy, especially Confucianism, neo-Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism.  Christianity is a common thread between Korean and American culture; however, the two cultures are relatively dissimilar.  These dissimilarities are largely driven by dominant Eastern and Western philosophies prevalent in Korea and the U.S., respectively.
 
Here is a summary of the presentation:
  • American Values
    • Individualism
    • Freedom of choice
    • Equal opportunity
    • Diversity
    • Free-thinking
    • Flexibility
  • Korean Values
    • Social conformity
    • Consensus
    • Heirarchy
    • Homogeneity
    • Duty to family and faith
    • Determinism
  • Helpful Suggestions
    • Learn the Korean language
    • Make some good Korean friends
    • Learn to eat spicy, "exotic" food
    • Get off the beaten path (go where the foreigners ain’t)
    • Buy or rent a cell phone
    • Shop at local markets (to find less expensive items)
    • Pay when you invite others
    • No need to tip unless the service is extraordinary
  • Cultural Do’s
    • Be a cultural ambassador
    • Be open, friendly, and patient
    • Watch Korean movies and TV programs
    • Learn to sing Korean songs
    • Speak as much Korean as often as you can
    • Be aware of family issues when dating Koreans
    • Encourage inter-cultural group activities
  • Cultural Don’ts
    • Don’t bring up controversial topics (e.g. Japanese colonialism, Dokdo Islands)
    • Don’t be offended by personal questions
    • Don’t be overly critical of Korean culture
    • Don’t be afraid to tell Koreans your limitations (e.g. vegetarian, non-smoker, non-drinker)
    • Don’t expect to "go native" (you will never truly be Korean, no matter how hard you try)
    • Don’t expect to make good, close friendships quickly
    • Don’t be upset when you’re stereotyped (e.g. military, English teacher)
 Again, your comments are welcome.  This is only a draft and subject to change.
 

Go your own way

It’s been often said that when you eat at an ethnic restaurant, go where the locals go and avoid the ones that are empty or filled with foreigners.  Well, that’s not always true.  Last night, we went out for dinner and looked around Seoul for a place to eat.  We wanted standard Korean fare–the usual bulgogi, galbi, and bibimbap.  We passed over a couple of empty restaurants, figuring that they were empty on Saturday night for a reason; namely, they weren’t very good.  Instead, we went into a restaurant filled with Koreans.  We had no idea what food the restaurant served when we went in.  It turns out that the restaurant served spicy pork bone soup with potato and sesame leaves.  In Korea, most restaurants have a single specialty that they do well and accent the dish with panchan, or side dishes.  This restaurant specialized in a particular Korean dish not often served in other Korean restaurants.  It was delicious, despite the fact that it doesn’t sound very appetizing to the Western palette.  The pork and sesame in spicy broth actually taste pretty good.  Still, the meal we ate wasn’t exactly what we wanted to eat.  It turns out that the empty restaurant next door served bulgogi, galbi, and bibimbap, the usual Korean fare.  Of course, that’s exactly what most Koreans don’t want to eat when they go out on a Saturday night.  They can get standard Korean fare at home anytime.  Instead, Koreans would rather go for something a bit more exotic like pork bone soup.  Today, we went for lunch at a familiar Korean restaurant and got our fill of wet bulgogi.  As expected, the restaurant was virtually empty, and most customers were foreigners.  Sometimes the old adage I mentioned isn’t true.  Sometimes it’s better to avoid the places where the locals go and stick with what you want to eat.  Otherwise, you might be unpleasantly surprised.  The bulgogi may not be the best, but it will taste better than something not appealing to your taste buds.
 
From the "Things that Make You Go…Hmm" Department:  It annoys me that the signature lines on Korean credit card slips is so small.  Most signature lines are small, one-inch boxes in the lower-right corner of credit card slips.  Today, I finally realized that that is because Koreans sign their name in hangeul (한글), Korea’s unique writing system.  Koreans need far less space to sign their names than do westerners, because  Hangeul signatures are much more compact than Romanized signatures.  I’ve learned to abbreviate my own signature so it will fit in the signature box.  It’s just one of many little quirky things about Korean culture I’ve realized in the brief time I’ve been here that are different from the United States.  For example, if you own a foreign car (non-Korean), be prepared to have difficulties finding common car parts and accessories.  If you need an oil change for your Toyota, you have to bring the oil and air filters with you.  The local garages don’t carry them.  You will either have to order them online or go to a Toyota dealership, which will have to order the parts from Japan just like any other car part.  So it is in Korea.

She done good

My wife is doing some amazing things here in Korea.  Thus far, I haven’t talked much about her background other than mentioning that right now she takes care of our son full time.  She is a career woman, so for her to give her career up to join me overseas and raise our son was a major sacrifice for her.  We both agree that having at least one parent at home, raising our child, is ideal for his personal development.  Note–I did not write that it’s best that mom stays at home.  I personally believe that the father can stay home with the children if the arrangement works best for the family.  Homemaking does not necessarily have to be done by the mother.  In most cultures, the mother typically stays at home with the children, although in Scandinavia many fathers choose to stay at home, while a large percentage of Scandinavian mothers work full time.  In our case, I am doing the job of my dreams overseas, and my wife and I jointly decided to leave our U.S. jobs and take the expat plunge.  If one partner works overseas, the other partner often has few, if any employment options.  Thus, my wife initially decided to stay at home with our son.  However, with job opportunities plentiful for her in Seoul, she has since changed her mind and been looking for work.  Until last year, when we lived in the U.S., my in-laws lived with us and we both worked full time.  After we relocated to Northern Virginia, my wife joined me in studying the Korean language (and proceeded to run circles around me learning Korean–it doesn’t hurt that Chinese is her native language, and 65% of Korean vocabulary is derived from Chinese).  My in-laws took care of our son until we moved to Korea.  My wife did not become a full-time mother and homemaker until she came here.
 
My wife stayed home full time with our son for about five months.  Last month, she started an important project for a local foundation charged with building an international school.  She is an accountant by trade and drew up the business plan and financials for the school.  The chairman of the Doosan Group, is the head of the foundation.  The wife of popular Korean actor Choi Min Soo is director-general of the foundation and has worked closely with my wife to develop the plan and financials.  They are both very impressed with her work.  She also recently started looking for work in Seoul and now has a good job offer with a global accounting firm.  She’s also close to landing other job offers with another well-known accounting firm and a global insurance company.  Although the jobs are not quite as prestigious as what she had while working in Seattle, they are excellent overseas opportunities.  If we lived in Africa, or in South Asia, she likely would not have such great employment opportunities.  It’s great that she apparently will have several employment options and can afford to be choosy.  She’s also quickly built up a great network of contacts, which is vital to success in the business world.  If you are currently looking for work, don’t rely on Monster.com or a corporate jobs web site to find gainful employment.  Your own network of contacts are your best means of finding a good job.
 
We’ve debated the merits of her working versus staying at home with our son.  I am happy to support her career decision.  In fact, I’m always quick to point out how talented she is and that she seems happiest when she feels productive.  Raising a child properly is crucial, and we’ve heard many moms tell us how rewarding it is to watch your children grow during their formative years, but it’s hard to see the results because a child’s development is ongoing and moves at glacial speed.  Unfortunately, we will have to hire a nanny to care for our son during weekdays, and the atmosphere in our home will be more contentious because we will both be rushing to get to work in the morning and will have to coordinate both our schedules with the nanny.  It is definitely easier to schedule activities when one parent stays home full time.  We’re also concerned that my wife will work too much overtime in a relatively stressful environment.  My job is already fairly stressful; hers will compound the stress.  We would both prefer that she work a standard 40-hour job in a relatively relaxed work environment.  That may not be possible, especially in Korea where employees are infamous for working 12+ hour workdays and on weekends (with little or no overtime pay).  On a positive note, she will feel more fulfilled, and the additional income will be nice.  Most of her income will go into our investments.  We don’t need the extra money–her career is her choice to make.  I am thankful that she does not have to work out of necessity.
 
I may have written more about her than she would like me to write, but I can’t help myself.  She is really a very talented person and deserves some kudos for all she’s done.