Time with my son

My son really depends on his mom.  She does so much for him; much more I’m afraid than I have been able to do during his short life.  I wasn’t around last year for almost five months when we were separated by two coasts.  I left for Washington, D.C. in February 2004, and my family joined me the following July (and for a week in April).  That is a very long period of absence from my son’s life.  Since then I’ve worked hard to be as good a father as I can be.  It didn’t help my case that my in-laws lived with us until late last year, and they were constant part of his life until very recently.  I really appreciated their help, but in the heirarchy of the family I have struggled to play a more prominent role in my son’s life.  It also didn’t help that I spent so much time studying Korean and preparing for our move to Seoul.  It has been frustrating at times being close to my son, especially when we uprooted him from his life in Seattle and in D.C.  The poor kid has moved and traveled more than most kids have to do in their first two years of life.  I now work all day while my wife takes care of our son, so I have to work extra hard to be available to him.

I am happy to say that four weeks into our life here in Seoul my son and I bonded in a way we never have in the past.  When he first arrived here, he was not sure of his surroundings and clung to his mom for security.  However, in the past couple of weeks he has settled into his new life and realizes that this is home.  We have reassured him that this is his new, long-term home, and he has accepted this reality.  He has also grown closer to me, which makes me very happy.  I have been more accessible to him, and he’s responded.  My wife left tonight for a meeting, and my son and I spent the evening together playing with his toys, watching videos, ate dinner together, and I took care of his needs.  He wasn’t in the least bit upset that mommy was gone–a first for him.  When she came home he kept reading a bedtime story with daddy.  His mood can change from day to day, but I know that he’s growing up and more amenable to change.  When I tell him something like "mommy will be home soon," he now seems to understand.  He still has trouble speaking, but we know he understands.  (Children in bilingual homes tend to start speaking at a later age until they can sort out the languages being spoken.)  As for me, I am happy as can be to spend quality with my son.  I’ll take anything I can get and keep trying harder to be a good father.

The Ides of March

On March 15, 44 B.C. Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated in Rome.  Immortalized in Shakespeare’s classic, "Julius Caesar," the assassination stands as one of the most inauspicious days in history.  The date previously represented a modest lunar event, but following Caesar’s assassination and the establishment of the Roman Empire it became a lasting reminder of portends.  The day turned out to be a fine one in merry ol’ Seoul, although at Seoul City Hall today thousands showed up to protest the government’s decision to build an "administrative city" south of Soeul and move a handful of Korean Government ministeries to this new "city."  Why were they protesting?  Over money, of course.  The government’s original plan to move the national capital to the Gongju-Yongi region about 100 miles south was struck down by Korea’s high court last October.  However, the government still decided to move go forward with a scaled down plan to build a smaller city and move several ministeries there.  While it will economically benefit that region, it will inevitably be a very expensive infrastructure project.  The protest had ended by the time I drove past the city hall today, but I did see a number of busses encircling the area and police lingering around to make sure that the protest wound down peacefully.  I had also heard that every 15th of the month Koreans endure emergency preparedness drills, but someone told me that the city discontinued those a few years ago. 

I thought it a bit ironic that "White Day" is followed by the Ides of March.  Those who know one event typically do not know the other.  "White Day" is a uniquely Korean celebration.  In Korea on Valentine’s Day women typically give gifts to their husbands or boyfriends, and then one month later on "White Day" men reciprocate and give gifts to their wives or girlfriends.  The celebration is followed by "Black Day," on April 15th, when women who did not receive anything for "White Day" gather to eat jajang (자장) noodles with friends who were also ignored on "White Day."  I found out about "White Day" yesterday when a thoughtful colleague showed up in our office with a bucket of beautiful red roses from Namdaemun Market and passed them out to all the women in our office.  He passed them out next to my desk.  All the women were wowed by his gesture, and I did my best not to look like a forgetful Luddite.  He said that it’s an office tradition he enjoys doing every year.  I also think he loves the attention. 🙂  The office was abuzz as women came to collect their roses.  Either way, I thought it ironic that such a happy day is followed by an inauspicious day, the Ides of March.  Of course, most Koreans don’t know what the Ides of March represents.  Interestingly, Valentine’s Day came from another violent Roman event–the death of St. Valentine.  How inauspicious.

Overslept and out of touch

I was so tired this morning that when I finally got ready for work, I decided to head back to bed to catch a few more ZZZ’s.  I usually go to Korean class first thing in the morning, but this morning I decided that getting some more sleep was more important than learning a language.  Unfortunately, I overslept by just a few minutes and watched the shuttle to work drive away from our house.  Drats!  I tried a call in a taxi, but the phone line was busy.  So I had to take a short, robust walk to the nearest busy intersection and hail a local taxi.  I must not know the appropriate way to hail a cab, because taxi after taxi passed me without stopping.  I finally saw a cab driving my direction and almost blocked the intersection to make sure the driver knew I needed a taxi (perhaps a foolish thing to do in speed-happy Korea).  I did get to work on time, but I learned my lesson.  Getting more sleep is important, but catching the shuttle to work is critical!

After three weeks in Korea I am now starting to realize that being in touch with American popular culture has become a casualty of overseas living.  The Internet is a crucial lifeline to staying in touch with American culture.  However, I rarely have time anymore to do more than catch the daily news.  I had no idea what movies were playing until this morning when I checked Yahoo, and I still don’t know what music is popular in the U.S. right now (most likely hip-hop and R&B).  I could go to Billboard and check out the charts or listen to Internet radio, but it’s not the same as turning on the radio and choosing from any number of local channels.  There’s a local movie cinema here and a video store with American movies, but I don’t know what’s playing and don’t have much time to check them out.  The last movie I saw was "The Incredibles" (I’m a big fan of computer-generated or CGI animation).  I hear tidbits about upcoming blockbuster movies such as the final "Star Wars" installment or the "Fantastic Four" movie, but who knows when or if I will see them.  I would like to see more Korean films too.  Koreans produce some of the best films I have seen.  Korean cinema is well known in Asia for producing quality films in addition to popular serial dramas.  "Taegukgi" is perhaps the best war film of all time.  I may catch a few flicks while I am here and my wife and son are away visiting family in the near future, but for now I’ll have to make due with exploring American culture via the Internet.