Articles with Puns

Thoughts and Sayings (December 2011)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in November. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Enjoy!

1. Let your light shine, but don’t be a klieg light.

2. A Monday in the office is better than a day in the grave.

3. The only turkey I want over for Thanksgiving should be on my dinner table.

4. Do you spend more time…or money?

5. I enjoy having you around but prefer you a-flat.

6. Like a knife, are you on the cutting edge or flat and dull?

7. Don’t fiddle around with playing someone like a fiddle.

8. You can put the Dole on a banana, but you can’t put a banana on the dole.

9. Why die for something when you can live for something else?

10. Don’t let the messenger shoot!

11. Although you may get better with age like fine wine, a bottle of wine will spoil if you open it.

12. It’s like two birds killing me with one stone.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write.

Click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts and Sayings.

Thoughts and Sayings (November 2011)

I’ve been doing some tweeting on Twitter to figure out how to use the site. Until recently Twitter was a big mystery to me, but I’m slowly figuring out the tweeting “game.” As far as I can tell, Twitter is essentially a race to win as many followers as possible so that when you have something important to say, you can broadcast it and get the word out to hundreds or thousands of people. Unless you have something really profound to say, like eyewitness reports of major events, it can be hard work getting noticed amid all the tweets. After the umpteenth offer for a free credit report or miracle cure, tweeting starts to lose its luster.

To get the balling rolling on Twitter, I started posting random thoughts and sayings. To my knowledge, I came up with them. Many are puns or wordplays with some kernel of wisdom or wit. I’ll post new ones from time to time. For now, enjoy the first batch.

1. Why does the dentist, after poking and prodding your mouth with a sharp tool, scold you when they draw blood?

2. The most common type of ship is friendship, but an increasingly rare kind is a dictatorship.

3. I am somewhere between 1 and 99 percent, but I’m still figuring out how to Occupy my time.

4. If the chemistry and biology are good, sociology is sure to follow.

5. Your body is a temple, not a stadium.

6. Worrying will not add an hour to your life, but exercise can.

7. If some are followers and some are following, who is leading?

8. Editors should help writers find their voice rather than inserting theirs.

9. If a cat has nine lives, how many lives does a big cat have?

10. Don’t get even. Get even better.

11. It’s hard to fit in when everyone is so different.

12. “Fried!” I said to the chicken.

13. Reach for the sky, because if you shoot for the moon you might see stars.