Humor – Page 2

Thoughts & Sayings (February 2013)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in January. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. Once you go off the beaten track, you never go back.

2. I’m like a shoe looking for its soul.

3. I feel de spare whenever I see my belly in the mirror.

Twisted Words

4. I can’t seem to keep that fly off the handle!

5. I didn’t want to shovel snow, so I glared at it until it melted.

6. Chickens recoop their losses when farmers take their eggs.

In Its Own Write

7. I’m going back to my cave to write and bang out something.

Holidays & Events

8. American adoptive parents left out in the cold by Russia, take heart! Thousands of wealthy Frenchmen are eagerly waiting to be adopted.

9. This year’s hot French travel destination is Russia.

10. I have a hunch 2013 will be unlucky, so I skipped a year.

11. How come 2013 doesn’t look much different than last year? I thought everything would change.

Random Musings

12. 🙂 is the Chinese character for LOL.

13. Would yesterday’s masters succeed as contemporary artists?

14. If you’re selling Twitter followers, wouldn’t it be easier to make money selling 1 for a dollar?

15. This is the most important message you’re going to read. Until the next one.

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain and a collection of short stories called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. His books are available as an e-book and in print on Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

Thoughts & Sayings (January 2013)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in December. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. Humans need a charger so they can unplug and recharge their batteries.

Twisted Words

2. A predator preys before meals.

3. I didn’t want to mow the grass, so I told it to sod off.

4. I am chopped liver. I enjoy life in bits and pieces.

In Its Own Write

5. In the classic novel “Lord of the Files,” clerical workers fight to the death over who will dominate the office.

Holidays & Events

6. News Flash! The paparazzi went to the hospital with sympathy pains following news of the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy.

7. Wishing you a happy 12-12-12, the last repetitive date in your lifetime. The last repetitive date in your lifetime. The last repetitive date in your lifetime.

8. Middle Earth has a Hobbit of reappearing every decade.

9. I hope someone sends the Mayans a free 2013 calendar before theirs runs out.

10. Some believe that a Mayan scribe ran out of ink on December 20.

11. December 20 is 20-12-2012. Something tells me that this means something.

12. It’s not the end of the world if nothing happens on December 21.

13. I wonder what will happen on December 21 when the Mayan calendar ends. I guess I’ll never…

14. This is a public announcement. The apocalypse has been postponed.

15. Last year my vision was 20-12. May your vision in 2013 be better than mine.

Random Musings

16. I am exhausted from dealing with Taylor Swift’s relationship issues and breakups.

17. I’m welcoming my in-laws with open arms and fingers crossed.

18. What’s a meme? When I was young, we called it buzz.

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Images courtesy of Microsoft.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, a collection of short stories called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories and Alexander the Salamander, a children’s story set in the Amazon. His books are available to purchase as an e-book and in print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

Thoughts & Sayings (December 2012)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in November. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. The same inputs can yield different results if you simply force them.

2. A fish needs a bicycle to get from one place to another faster than on foot.

3. I can’t think of anything to say. I guess I’ll use hand gestures.

Twisted Words

4. My sayings are so corny that I know one day I will reap what I sow.

Holidays & Events

5. Spotted at a protest following the 2004 U.S. Election.

6. I quit cold turkey for Thanksgiving.

7. This Thanksgiving, be thankful you’re not a turkey. Oh, never mind.

8. China announces its new leaders. Snow White is not among them.

9. Happy Election Day! If you’re not American, just tell a pollster how you’d vote if you could.

10. In a goofy, Mickey Mouse deal, Disney buys LucasFilm. Coming soon: “Star Wars – The Musical,” “Star Wars on Ice,” and “Star Wars Episodes VII – to Infinity and Beyond.”

Random Musings

11. Hasbro should make a Clue board game featuring blockbuster movies, people, places and things, where Harry Potter did it on Tatooine with a phaser or Spock did it at Hogwarts with a light saber.

12. Get hundreds of new Twitter followers every day. Tweet good content.

13. Omy – the symbol for methane on the Periodic Table.

14. This morning my child went from tired to wired in 15 minutes.

15. Why is a car a lemon and not a carrot?

Click here to visit the Thoughts & Sayings page, or click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts & Sayings.

Images courtesy of Microsoft.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, a collection of short stories calledReal Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Storiesand Alexander the Salamander, a children’s story set in the Amazon. His books are available to purchase as an e-book and in print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

© 2012 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.